Everything’s Going to Be Okay. I’m One of the Good Guys With Some Gum.

I’ve been trained for this, I’m on your side, and I came prepared.

What I’m not going to do — what I’m going to take great pains not to do even once — is blow a bubble.

Everyone, remain calm. Yes, we’re in a dangerous situation, but we’re going to get through it, I promise. You can trust me. I’ve been trained for this, I’m on your side, and I came prepared. There’s no lunatic spraying hot lead who…